Importance of discipline for children and parents
By: Fera Andriani
Is discipline necessary part of parenting? The answer is “yes”. But in the daily life, most parents feel uncomfortable. In twentieth century, discipline was adult-centered. It relied hardly on punishment to keep the children on the right track. Compliance, obedience, and punishment were commonly used to build the discipline. Smacking and variations of that theme were general tools of trade used by most parents at home, while corporal punishment was used in schools by most teachers.
Positive reinforcement for good behavior and rewards were sometimes kept for the good behaving children rather than used as a way to encourage better behavior in more difficult children.
But nowadays, the situation is not the same. We recognize it as child-centered approaching, which praises and rewards are more useful. Most parents want to apply different techniques of discipline from the kind which their parents applied. It based on good relationships with their children, and considers them as the highest priority. Many parents are tend to avoid those sticky discipline issues and concerned with being friends to their children.
We realize that society has changed significantly over the last few decades, while children and their developmental needs haven’t altered optimally. It is useful to look to children and their needs. Our children grow and develop best among a stable environment where they are listened, valued, and loved. They choose an orderly environment rather than a terrible one. Learning to be safe and sociable, they need someone else in that environment to help them feel that way. This is where discipline must begun.
The parents of young children need to adopt a real-life approach to discipline which is difficult on teaching rather than punishing. They face the biggest challenge, the notion of consistency. It means, parents make a deal with the misbehaved and not let him or her grows into bigger behaviors.
So, parents allow the children and follow through them to experience a consequence when they do something wrong. But these days, consistency is very hard. Just like routines, the busy working parents often sacrifice it. Especially when they feel stretched, overworked, and tired. Engaging in a battle with children over what are sometimes petty issues is the last thing they want to do. Besides a well-meaning parents who values relationship can be made by the consistency.
Children know well how far they are able to push a parent before they give in. They will push their mom or dad hard enough and long enough in order to get what they want occasionally. So, the parents should be strong and hold their ground in order to be consistent. Generally, the children will show little respect when they face parents who don’t have a firm backbone. And it is the beginning of relationship disaster. So, good discipline and good parent-child relationship must be applied together. Discipline maybe hard nowadays, but there is no mistake about its importance for parents and children.
By: Fera Andriani
Positive reinforcement for good behavior and rewards were sometimes kept for the good behaving children rather than used as a way to encourage better behavior in more difficult children.
But nowadays, the situation is not the same. We recognize it as child-centered approaching, which praises and rewards are more useful. Most parents want to apply different techniques of discipline from the kind which their parents applied. It based on good relationships with their children, and considers them as the highest priority. Many parents are tend to avoid those sticky discipline issues and concerned with being friends to their children.
We realize that society has changed significantly over the last few decades, while children and their developmental needs haven’t altered optimally. It is useful to look to children and their needs. Our children grow and develop best among a stable environment where they are listened, valued, and loved. They choose an orderly environment rather than a terrible one. Learning to be safe and sociable, they need someone else in that environment to help them feel that way. This is where discipline must begun.
The parents of young children need to adopt a real-life approach to discipline which is difficult on teaching rather than punishing. They face the biggest challenge, the notion of consistency. It means, parents make a deal with the misbehaved and not let him or her grows into bigger behaviors.
So, parents allow the children and follow through them to experience a consequence when they do something wrong. But these days, consistency is very hard. Just like routines, the busy working parents often sacrifice it. Especially when they feel stretched, overworked, and tired. Engaging in a battle with children over what are sometimes petty issues is the last thing they want to do. Besides a well-meaning parents who values relationship can be made by the consistency.
Children know well how far they are able to push a parent before they give in. They will push their mom or dad hard enough and long enough in order to get what they want occasionally. So, the parents should be strong and hold their ground in order to be consistent. Generally, the children will show little respect when they face parents who don’t have a firm backbone. And it is the beginning of relationship disaster. So, good discipline and good parent-child relationship must be applied together. Discipline maybe hard nowadays, but there is no mistake about its importance for parents and children.
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